The Underground Church

Anyone who hasn't yet should go look at the preview and trailer for the upcoming movie on the Underground Church in America. It's at: underthethreshold.com.

A Dream about High School

Premise: I did not like high school much at all. I was not then the person I am now. I did not like the clique-ishness, arrogance, superiority complexes that everybody had.

So last week during the fast I had this dream... I dreamed that I was in high school, not my school but some school. I was standing there wading through my locker looking for the books, folders and stuff I needed for my next class. This was taking me a while as my locker was jam-packed full of stuff. The top section had every book for every class, various library books, folders, notebooks, and other stuff. In the main part was my normal jacket, my letter jacket, my duffle bag full of practice gear... Needless to say in most lockers, this was packed!! As is my life. It's all there. The status symbols (the letter jacket), the education... the voice of reason... the worldliness... All I was was all there.

So it was a passing period and I was there. I was an upperclassman, at least in my opinion. A big, tall, superior senior and I had that arrogance that seniors have. And, lo and behold, I had these two pip-squeak little boys, probably junior high-ers, there just trying to annoy me. I was there to get exactly what I needed out of the locker and then get on to class. And these boys were there trying to take stuff out of my locker and had there hands in there. I wasn't going to let this happen, so I (gently) stopped them, slapped at their hands, nudged them away, raised my voice a little, but they continued. Apparently they didn't have their own class to get to. And it was an urgent time! The passing period was just about over. Do you feel the urgency of the hour? And suddenly, BUZZ! Tardy! And I hear my name called over the speaker to come to the Principal's office.

So I leave my locker open (I don't know why or what I was thinking) and go down to the Principal. And I give my typical B-S routine that most high schoolers give. "I'm sorry, Mr. _____. It won't happen again." even though it probably will within a week or two. And the Principal talks to me a little, asking the common questions like "What's going on with you?" "How are you doing?" and then the profound, "This isn't like you." This isn't like you. This isn't like you to dwell on the stuff in your locker. This isn't like you to be late. This isn't like you to be annoyed by pip-squeak little boys. This isn't like you. The Principal knows me and he knows the way I'm supposed to be. And he is understanding of my mistakes and failures.

So I return to my locker to find it completely empty. While I was with the Principal, I came back to find that those same two pip-squeak little boys had made off with all my stuff! I looked down the hallway to see one of the boys carrying a load of my stuff. So what do I do? I'm human. I run after him. I want to get my stuff back. I chase him down the hall and around the corner and finally catch up to him and his partner over the pile of my stuff. And at this point I am so fed up and frustrated that I either am about to or do hit the first one. (I'm not sure. This is where I woke up.)

My life was filled with so much junk and here I was wanting to hold on to all of it. And I was willing to become violent about it! WOE IS ME! What's really important? Really? And the Principal's (Jesus's) words were so profound too. This isn't like you. Who am I really? Who are any of us? Are we merely a culmination of a big pile of stuff? Do we identify ourselves with certain cliques? certain identities? (In high school, it was athletics at Hagerstown. Now it could be a job or a ministry.)

So yeah, I repented.

21 Days

So we've finished the 21 days of fasting, the purpose of which was to empty my life of all sorts of junk so that God can fill me with the good stuff... It was an interesting, intriguing, challenging, confusing, cheering, sombering experience. I figured out how much I missed some things and how much stuff I did not miss much at all (like the television).

I have found the meaning of life... Not that I've never found the meaning of life, before, for it is completely, totally and utterly wrapped up in the nature and character of the Godhead... But I hadn't really been able to cut it down and make it succinct until now. Here it is... "That the Lamb who was slain may receive the reward of His suffering." I love Ten Shekels and a Shirt by Paris Reidhead.


More to come... I don't think I'll put it all here in one post.

True Repentance

I desire a city transformed by the manifest presence of Jesus Christ in me and in the lives of those who believe. I desire a city where God can come and reside with His Bride.

Where does it all begin? True repentance. True repentance in the heart of the Bride. A ceasing of the Prostitute and stepping into the promise of Bridal glory!! Are you ready to walk down the aisle, Beloved?!?

I'm dwelling on true repentance. What does it mean? Every sin I commit I wonder how much longer? When will it stop? When will I stop? What will it take? What can I do? What can be changed? Where does it end? Where did it begin? Where did I lose sight? Why can't I hear You? What is wrong with me? How wretched I am!! Wouldn't life be so much easier without so much temptation? Can't God just break my TV so I can't watch it? Or take this computer that I can't get on the Internet? Or take my job that I won't be bitter? What is God saying? What is He trying to say through it all? True repentance. What is it?

Simon Peter, son of Jonah (the same Jonah who turned and ran when instructed by God to preach repentance to the Ninevites) had himself denied Jesus Christ three times at his Crucifixion. In John 21, Jesus (in resurrected body) asked Peter this great and terrible question... Do you love me? Peter denied Christ a first time and Jesus asked, "Do you love me?" Peter denied Him a second time and Jesus doesn't scold him, reprimand him, shame him, disgrace him. No, Jesus asked, "Do you love me?" A third time, Peter denied Jesus and still Jesus was not angry, but Jesus knew the rebuke that needed to ring out of Peter's heart. Jesus asked, "Do you love me?"

How many times have I denied you, Jesus!!?!! Seven times seven? Seventy times seven? Seventy times seventy times seventy times seventy times seventy times... (you get the idea)? Yet, let this rebuke stir my heart. "Do you love me?" Do I love you, Jesus? Do I? With every sin, I think nought... Yet that is exactly the purpose, isn't it? With every temptation you allow, you are asking me, "Do you love me?" "Do you truly love me more than this?" Oh how I love you Jesus!! With all that is in my heart, I love you. My heart is what it's all about, isn't it? You did all this for my heart... for my love... If all you gained from all you suffered was the love of one broken hearted man, you would have suffered it all for me. For me... How... How you love me...

Lord, I ask that this message stir your people... Those who believe they have all the answers, the programs, the workshops, the "How To..." Manuals, yet they do not even know the question You are asking... Do you love me? Let those words ring in our ears and in our hearts, Abba. We love you.

So what is true repentance? Don't ask me, because I really don't know. But I think this may be the way to get there... It sounds so simple and yet it is so complex... It's so great for those who believe and yet so terrible for those who do not know You... The way is simply saying, from now unto eternity, the answer Jesus so longs to hear from His Beloved. Jesus asks the question over and over and over and over again... "Do you love me?" What is the answer? I LOVE YOU.

Every time the question is asked, "Do you love me?", "Do you love me more than this?", what will your answer be?